Don't Call it a Comeback!

Boy, it's been a lonnnnggg time! I know a lot of people start blogs....then they stop.  This was going to be me, I am almost 100% sure of it.  I got lazy, life got busy and I didn't think that many people were interested in reading what I had to say. But, over the last few months, I have had a few people ask me am I still blogging. Two of them actually went so far as to say that they looked forward to reading it each week.  They also said it gave them hope and someone they could relate to. So, then I realized I had been thinking about this entirely wrong.  It doesn't matter how many people read it.  I get it....

It's not about me!!! It's not about how many people read it! What if Jesus had me start this blog just to help one person? I am a firm believer that if God puts something on your heart to do, you should do it.  He put it on my heart to start a blog.  He didn't say start this blog and everyone will love it. He didn't say start the blog and if you don't think anyone wants to read it, stop.  He simply wanted me to start writing. When Jesus ask you to do something, it is for a reason.  All we need to do is be obedient.  Lesson learned.

I'm back.....new post coming in January!

These Boots are Made for Walking,,,,

 

Boots! Boots! and Boots (and in that order)!

Today, I want to talk about boots! Boots are one of the main reasons that I love fall and winter! I love all types of boots, but my favorite are tall boots. There is only one problem: my calves! I am about a size 12 now, but the last time that I bought boots I was about a size 18 and 250lbs. The average boot will have a calf size of about 14-15 inches. If you are plus size or athletic, your calves are more than likely bigger than this. 

Once upon a time...

At 250lbs, I ventured out on a shopping excurstion to find the perfect boots. My first stop was DSW shoes.When I walked in I was in utter amazement! They had such a large number of choices! I was like a kid in a candy store. How would I be able to decide what pair to get?  Then I started devising a plan in my head on how I was going to convince my husband that I may need 2-3 pairs instead of just one.

I started browsing through the boots, then I started trying some on. The first pair I could not get zipped over my calves, no luck with the second pair, third pair was not a charm and so on and so on.  I probably tried on 10 pairs in a row that did not fit.  

All kinds of thoughts started going through my head: They don't make boots for somebody as fat as me (please don't get offended by my use of the word "fat", I am just recapping what was going on in my head)! What am I going to do this winter with no boots? How will I survive? What am I going to wear? Will I be shoeless?

In panic mode, I began to search frantically for an employee. I found her and explained my dilema.  She looks at me with loving and compassionate eyes and says she can help me. I looked at her with hopeful eyes, I felt like she would not let me leave that store without completing my mission.  She explained to me that a lot of women have this issue. Some that are even smaller than me.  She said she has noticed over the last few years of working at DSW, the manufacturers have starting making the calf sizes even smaller (I am not sure if this is true or not).  She showed me that some of the boots had a "W" on the box, and told me that it means that they are made for women with a wider calf.  

So, I started trying some of those on.  The first pair was a bust, couldn't zip the second pair up.....THIRD PAIR WAS A CHARM!!!! Hallejuah! I found a pair that I could wear and I actually liked them too! I was almost in tears! I wanted to run around the store and do praise dance! So, I paid for them and ran like the wind to my car! I would not be shoeless for the fall and winter! All was right with the world again! Except that my husband thought I was a lunatic after this experience.

After I fell off my cloud and the euphoria wore off, I thought if I have this problem, I know other women do too! Now that it is time for me to buy new boots, I figured it would be helpful if I shared with my other thick legged sisters!

The pair of boots that I bought at DSW (by the way the brand was Chinese Laundry) on that glorious day lasted 2 years. I wore them so much that they probably shouldn't have lasted that long.  I was also so traumatized from that experience that I did not even try to find another pair the entire fall and winter! So now I am on the hunt for new boots! Not just one pair, but 2-3 pairs. And now that I am smaller, I hope that it won't be as difficult. But, I've always had thick thighs, even when I was what would be considered skinny.  My legs and bottom are the heaviest parts on my body.

I started looking for boots in July. I know this sounds crazy, but when I bought boots 2 years ago I waited 'til the end of September and a lot of the boots had already been bought and picked through. So, this year I wanted to get a head start.

Price and Quality

I love me a good bargain! I live for it! However, I do believe that when it comes to boots, you get what you pay for.  The leather, higher quality boots are going to be the more expensive.  There are some good man-made material boots out there, but I do prefer leather. At places like DSW, Macy's, Dillard's etc. the real leather boots start around $90.00. 

Color

If I could only pick one pair of boots for this year, I would chose a brown pair.  It is totally okay to mix brown and black now! I actually love the way black and brown look together. So, a good brown pair can go with just about anything! 

Tell me where to find my boots please!!!

My favorite place to purchase boots is DSW. They have a great selection in the stores and they also have a great online selection. They also have a broad price range. Here are some other places I have found that you can find boots to fit larger calves: 

Some of the places that I have mentioned are more expensive than others, but I think whatever your price range is, you will be able to find a pair at one of these places. You may be surprised that eBay made my list.  Don't sleep on eBay people, it's a pretty good place to shop.  You can find almost anything on there new and used. They have an awesome selection of boots right now!

If you decide to order online, the first thing that you need to do is figure out the size of your calves (duh?). You will need one of these:     

 Measuring your calves is a pretty simple and painless procedure. All you need to do is measure around the widest part of your calf. But here's something you may not know: If you're 5'3" or shorter, you need to add another inch to this measurement. Why? Because, generally speaking, boots get wider closer to the top of the boot. If you're short, the widest part of your calf is going to be down lower than someone who is tall. So will need to  get a wider boot than someone who is 5'8", even if you have the exact calf circumference as that person.  Also, be sure to measure both calves, one could be bigger than the other.  Keep in mind: In most cases, the bigger the boot size, the wider the calf will be. Below is a good chart to go by:

Wide Calf" Shoe Designation	U.S. Shoe Size	Calf Measurement
Narrow	5 - 9	12 - 14 inches
Medium	5.5 - 11	14 - 15 inches
Wide	6 - 12W	16 - 18.25 inches
ExtraWideor Super Wide	6 - 13WW	17.5 - 20 inches

No matter what size you are, every girl deserves a good pair of boots! Thank goodness that we have options! I am no expert, but I wanted to share some of my experience in this area.  I still plan on losing about 70lbs more, but while I am on this journey, I insist on being cute! Can I get an amen?!

My week in fashion....

I wasn't going to put this in , but some of my friends claim that they enjoy it. And I don't want to disappoint:

I really didn't wake up like that, but hey! That green necklace came from Walmart for only 5.00!!! My flats are Rue 21 and they were 2.00. My black and gold braclet is  a gift from Sheryl, owner of my fave store Shery's Hallmark.  I ordred my online from an Etsy shop. And brace yourselfs folks, I only paid 2.00 for the fabulous camo jeans I am wearing!!! They are Jordache and I got them from Walmart.

Fringe necklace came from JC Penny a few years ago.  Sandals are from Old Navy from a few years ago. Bracelet is from JC Penny. Watch is from eBay. And the jogger pants are from Rue 21.

I rarely shop at Goodys, but I decided to go in and see what was going on in there.  I found this beautiful floral top.  My husband and one of my besties did not like it when I showed it to them, but when I put it on and added my accessories all of a sudden they were singing a differen tune. The cute bracelet was a birthday gift from Sheryl's Hallmark. My long bow necklace (5.00) and earrings(2.88) both came from Walmart. 

This shirt is another great find from Goodys! I paid only 4.48 for it!! The necklace I got from an online boutique for 5.00 and my shoes are from American Eagle.

Honey, I love me some monograms! What is better than a monogram? A HUGE monogram!!! I bought this t-shirt at Walmart for $3.00 and took it over to Sheryl's Hallmark and had the monogram put on for only $8.00! Now, that is a steal! I like to mix colors so I added my green Walmart necklace.

I am signing off for now! This is my second post of the week.  If you haven't read the prior, I suggest that you do! Peace, love and blessings!

Am I Helping or Hurting Them?

What is Co-dependency?

•  Someone who supports the addiction of another person by excusing, denying, or concealing behavior. 
• Codependency is defined as taking an excessively passive, controlling or caretaking role in your relationship with another.

What is Enablement?

a person or thing that makes something possible | a person who encourages or enables negative or self-destructive behaviour in another 

Codependents believe that they are acting out of compassion and often become martyrs to the cause of their addict. Their intentions are good.

But in fact, if anything, you are enabling and you are protecting your addict from facing the full ugliness of their addiction as you provide excuses, deny the impact of their actions and let them continue to use you as their source of comfort while giving back nothing.

Codependency can be hard to identify because we often think we are just being selfless, caring and loving. We feel noble for loving someone at his or her worst. 

If you are still not sure that you are condenpendent and/or an enabler, please see if any of these apply to you:

• Desperate for approval
• Uncomfortable being strong or assertive
• Wanting to control others
• Basing self worth on the approval of others
• Denying or diminishing feelings
• Struggling to make decisions in fear of upsetting others
• Giving up interests, friends or hobbies for the sake of others
• Feeling unnecessarily responsible for your loved ones actions
• Mistaking the need to rescue someone, with loving them
• Confusing being needed for being loved
• Giving more of yourself than the people you love give back to you

If you answered yes to any of these, chances are you are an enabler.

 I know a lot of family members of addicts are lost on how to help their loved one.  By working at a treatment facility and seeing addiction from the other side, I have a totally different perspective on codependency and enablement.  I often wonder if my parents had stopped enabling me sooner, would I  have gotten better long before now? Who knows....

I have awesome parents.  They did their very best raising me. I was an only child and was very spoiled.  They always made sure I had what I needed AND what I wanted.  My parents and grandparents raised me to believe that I was the best thing since sliced bread....that I hung the moon and  the stars.  If my parents did not get it for me, my grandparents would.

They also had high expectations of me! I was expected to look my best.  I had the best grades and belonged to numerous clubs and organizations. I couldn't let them down.  I had to do more, be more! Now I realize that a lot of the things that I did back then was to please my family, not because I necessarily wanted to do it.  I craved the love and affection that I would get when I won an award, got a good grade, etc.  My parents wanted me to go to college and have a great career because that is the definition of success, right?  So, I did well in school and got a scholarship to the University of Kentucky.  When I got there, I did not really know what I wanted to major in or what I wanted to be.  I had spent so much of my life doing what others had wanted me to do, that I could not make a decision for myself.  I had no real passion or desire for anything. I was just basking in the admiration from my family that I had went to college.

So, I started my college and what I like to call my drug career at UK.  I lost my scholarship first, then financial aide, then I got kicked out! Addiction gets progressively worse NEVER better! My parents during these years probably knew that something was going on, but did not want to believe it.  I had good jobs, but never any money.  They paid my bills for numerous years while I spent all of my money on dope.  I stole from them, but they would turn a blind eye.  I would get high in their home. I was awful! But they kept trying to support and help me. I basically bankrupted them at one point! 

Then there came a time when the money ran out.  They bailed me out of jail the first time, but would not the second time (even though the second time the bail was much cheaper).  They sent me to rehab after rehab, psych ward after psych ward...They were at their wits end! My parents were helpless and hopeless.  They realized that there was nothing that they could do for me any longer...so, they cut me off! And that is when the I came to myself....

I entered treatment on July 22, 2011.  My uncle picked me up in Lexington at my duplex I was being evicted from.  He was so disgusted with me, he barely spoke.  My dad met us in Mt. Sterling, we ate a meal at Jerry's Restaurant  and they dropped me off for treatment stay number 12.  For 6 months, they did not come and visit me.  On visitation day, I would anxiously wait for my mother or father, uncle, ANYBODY to walk through the doors and no one came.  I would sit and watch all of the other clients visit with their families. It hurt. I knew that I had created this mess! I did not deserve for anyone to come and visit me! I hurt all of my friends and family for so long, how could I expect them to even speak to me again?! However, there was still a small part of me that was angry...How could they abandon me like this? 

That 6 months was actually the best thing that ever happened to me!!!! You see for me I had to lose EVERYTHING and not know if and/or when I would get it back in order to realize that I had to do this on my own.  No one could save me from this disease of addiction, but me!  

It has been my experience that a lot of addicts won't even have the desire to get better as long as they know that there will be someone to bail them out. Families are sometimes the biggest problem the addict has. They spend thousands of dollars bailing them out of jail!  We have adults in treatment whose families treat them like they are 2 and 3 years old.  They will call and ask things like: Have "Johnny" or "Susie" eaten today? Did they sleep well? Are they playing well with others? They put hundreds of dollars on their snack account. They bring them carton after carton of cigarettes, new clothes, etc.  They make it really easy and comfortable for them while they are in treatment. Almost like they are on vacation.  

 Some families will come and visit after the client has been here for 30 days and see them looking 100% better than they have in years, they seem to be thinking clearly....they got their child back!!! He or she is healed! So, if the courts have ordered them to 6 months or more of treatment they will start the process to get them out of rehab.  Why do they need to stay longer? They are off the dope and look great, they need to get back out their with their family. 

I believe in life that your actions need to cost you something! As long as Mommy and Daddy are constantly bailing you out, you will not understand that your actions have consequences.  And trust me there will be a time when Mommy, Daddy, Granny, Grandaddy will not be able to save you! Us addicts will eventually get ourselves in situations that we cannot be rescued from! Death being the most scary! Everytime you give your loved one who is in active addiction money, you are contributing to their potential death.  I know this is harsh, but I think that it is imporant to look at it this way.  

Why do you continously rescue your family member? You codependents out there, be honest with yourself. Why are you doing it? You ARE getting a payoff, or you wouldn’t be doing it. All of this is because of the real, underneath reason you are helping your family member because of your underlying need for acceptance and love. Some believe codependency is selfish because it makes the enabler feel good about themselves to help their loved one, that's why they do it. If you stop helping "Johnny" or "Susie" they may get upset with you and it does not feel good for them to be upset with you! If you stop helping, you may feel like you have lost control of the situation (which really you have no control over anyway...you just think you do). You may think that if you do all that you can, you can save them from themselves! Let me let you in on a little secret: there is nothing you can do for them, unless they start doing for themselves.  You can not save them.  No amount of money in the world can keep an addict out of jails, institutions and/or death! 

The best thing that happend to me is that my family and friends decided to love me from a distance.  They finally realized that there was NOTHING that they could do to help me! 

My mother is just now coming to terms with the fact that she raised me the best that she knew how to and I still ended up being a drug addict.  We are just now getting our relationship back on track.  I believe she resents me because of all of the horrible things that I have done and she resents herself for letting it go on for so long! She has never said this, but I think she may have been living her life through me, basing her happiness and sadness on what I did and how well or how poorly I did! For me, that is hard to live up to because I am not perfect and cannot live up to such high expectations!  I am not all that she had planned for me to be. I am not who she thought she had raised. But slowly she is starting to accept me for who I am and is actually proud of the woman I have become. She raised me the best that she knew how and I love her for that.  

PS-Spoiled children, like me are some of the hardest to help in recovery (in my humble opinion).  It was a hard pill for me to swallow when I found out that I didn't actually hang the moon and stars and that I wasn't the best thing since sliced bread. I wasn't all that great!  It was hard for me to understand the concept that in life people shouldn't just hand you everything you want, that you should have to work for it. I am not telling you what to do, but I am telling you my experience. Tending to adult babies is very difficult! Trust me, I was one. I hope that I didn't upset too many with what I have written, but if it did, that's okay. The beautiful thing is that you don't have to agree with me! 

I am not telling you to completely abandon your loved ones.  I understand how hard it is to let your loved one go.  However, sometimes you have to love them from a distance like mine did.  You have to set boundaries. You can support them without enabling.  By walking away, it may actually save their life.

I will not be putting any fashion in this post, I will save that for Sunday.  I just had the urge to sit down and start writing tonight and that is what I did! I hope that you got something out of this! If you have quesions feel free to ask me by commenting on here or through Instagram(IG name @sobrietymeetsfashion) or Facebook (Click here to go to my FB page)!

A Frugal Fashionista living the sober life!: A Change is going to come... It must!

A Frugal Fashionista living the sober life!: A Change is going to come... It must!: Greetings everyone! Can you believe that summer is coming to an end very soon?! Well, I can't! But, Fall time is one of my favorite t...

A Change is going to come... It must!

Greetings everyone! Can you believe that summer is coming to an end very soon?! Well, I can't! But, Fall time is one of my favorite times of the year! All the beautiful colors on the trees, sweaters, boots...OH MY!

Usually on long weekends, I get to have my babies. I have been looking forward to them coming all week! Then I get a text from my Dad (aka Deddy) on Thursday night that he would not be picking them up for the weekend. They had a wedding to attend with their father.  I just blankly stared at the text for a few minutes.  I just knew that they would be here with us this weekend. What am I going to do with myself now?   I decided to try and make the best of this Holiday weekend even though my heart is breaking inside. So, other than random crying spells throughout the day, I have been enjoying myself. I still have a lump in my throat that won't go away and my heart is physically hurting (if that makes any sense).  But, I refuse to sit around and play the moping game. I am not going to have a pity party for myself!  I can't afford too! An addict cannot stay in self-pity, it is dangerous territory! You see, I used to think that I was not allowed to be happy and enjoy life because I don't have custody of my children.  I would always feel guilty for having a good time because I would imagine my babies were somewhere being very sad because their mother had abandoned them. How dare I have fun?! There are 2 children out there being raised by their father because their dope head mother couldn't get it together. I deserve to suffer! That's just some of the things that would go through my head.  And I would be lying to you if I told you that I still don't think like this sometimes.  But then I think about the blood of Jesus Christ! His blood that was shed was for this dope fiend! His blood was shed, so that my children would have an awesomely blessed life with or without their mother! His blood that was shed so that I wouldn't have to walk around in shame and guilt for all of the disgusting things that I have done! His blood was shed so that I could have complete...not 1/4....not 1/2 but COMPLETE restoration of my life! Jesus is watching over my babies when they are not with me. He has angels especially assigned to them.  They are happy and healthy! The God that I serve would not have it any other way!

God has big plans for my little family and me.  I know this! This situation is not permanent! I claim it! Restoration is already in process! So,

Recovery is hard enough, now you tell me I have to change my friends...

When I finally got serious about my recovery, one of the things they told me is that I would have to change old people, places and things.  I had mixed emotions about this concept.  See, I have been blessed in the friend department.  I have a group of ladies that I have been friends with for over 25 years, we grew up together. . Best friends does not seem like adequate words to describe my relationship with them.  I think sisters will suffice.   I also have a group of friends that I met while attending the University of Kentucky that have become some of my best friends. Then I had my "drug" friends, the people that I met along the way because we shared a common interest: getting high. The first two sets of friends were not addicts.  They are able to drink like the "normal" people.  I did get high with some of them, but when it was time to move on, they did. They finished their degrees, established careers, families, etc.  I was the one that was not able to stop and move on with my life.  Some of them got tired of my behavior and stopped speaking to me (not all, but some).  So, when they told me that I had to change my friends, I thought "my drug friends are all that I have left". My "normal" friends either had enough and walked away or I had lost contact with them. And before I go on, I need to say that I don't blame them for removing themselves from my life.  I would have walked away from me WAY sooner then they did.  They gave me hundreds of chances!  I am not confused on who caused the breaks in the friendship, it was ME! So if I gave up my "drug" friends, that left me with nobody and this made me very sad.  One more thing that sobriety was going to force me to do, not have any friends (poor poor pitiful me)....

But as time went on and I worked the program, this concept became more clear and easier to accept.  How am I going to change pretty much everything about me and my life and then go back and hang out with people that were doing the things that  I had worked so hard to stop doing? How would I stay sober hanging around people getting high? I knew that I was going to have to let go of who I considered to be my friends. Mind you, these people were the ones that stole from me, lied to me and much more. We will do what we have to for dope.  And not one of them came and visited me while I was in treatment, so why did I even consider them my friends?! So, I decided that if I would let go of these so-called "friends"! As long as I had Jesus Christ and my sobriety I would be fine, I was sure of it!

Let us fast forward to NOW: You will be happy to know that I have more "real" friends in my life now, then ever before! I have reconnected with all of my childhood friends and my college friends. Even better, now I have a entire new group of friends that I have acquired in recovery and through the work that I do in the community! Strong and beautiful women (and men) that uplift and encourage each other...What could be better?! At any given time I know that I could call on any of these women and they would be there for me!

And new places and things too?

While in treatment this last time, I started thinking about how I would be able to have fun sober. Where am I going to go to have fun?  These people are telling me that I cannot go to and hang out where I used too! What do they expect me to do with myself?!  First of all, I resented the "normal" people that I would see in stores, restaurants, etc. because they seemed so happy.  I thought there is no way these people are happy without some sort of mind-altering chemical. I couldn't figure it out.  I had never been happy or comfortable in my own skin, EXCEPT, when I was high! I just knew that everybody was secretly high! 

But, as I began the transitioning process in treatment, I stepped out of my comfort zone. I joined the gym. I got certified to teach Zumba. I became active in my church. I joined organizations in the community and before I knew it I was having me a life without mind-altering chemicals. It felt good to wake up in the morning and remember what happened the night before. I started to enjoy the little things, like going to the park and reading my Bible.  It is nothing short of a miracle! I am happier now then I have ever been my entire life! If I attend a friend's birthday, I will eat dinner with them, but if they are going to a club or bar afterwards, I go home.  They are okay with that and I am too!  I have no desire to be out and about like that anymore! That is part of my old life, the one that died.  I can not do the same things that you used to do and expect different results (insanity at it's finest)! I can not go the same places that you used to.  One friend said it best when they said "If you go to the barbershop enough times, you are going to eventually get a hair cut"! Plus, I have partied enough for 2 lifetimes!!!

And now.....

Well, I can't leave without showing you some highlights of my little fashion world from this week! My friends have started calling me Kleather Kardashian (they got jokes. HA!).  I am the broke Kardashian sister. Oh well......I am a small town girl, with a small budget, but still manage to be fashionable (in my humble opinion). I hope that you enjoy!

Fringe and Chuck Taylors with American Eagle Jeans!

I ordered this glitter "Wifey" decal from Etsy.  The shop name is glitterandjuls. You can also find her on Instagram @glittersandjuls. She has so many pretty things in her shop. Go check her out: Glitterandjulsshop .I purchased the t-shirt from Wal-Mart for 4.97 and the decal was 8.00 (including shipping). All you do is iron on the decal and boom: FABULOSITY!  That cute bow bracelet came from an online site called Simple Addiction! I paid only 4.97 for it! They have items up to 90% off retail value. Check them out:Simple Addiction.  The other bracelet is from Rue 21 and I don't remember how much I paid, but it was not over 5.00. Necklace came from eBay for about 3.00. Green jeans 5.00 at Walmart. Shoes came from American Eagle

I am not down to the size that I want to be yet, but I decided that this year I was going to go swimming! I want to enjoy my life at whatever size I am! Life is too dag on short not to! Bathing suit and cover-up all from Walmart for under 30.00!

I purchased this dress 2 years ago for the 4th of July at Old Navy. The cardigan is also from Old Navy. Shoes came from the Gap Factory outlet for only 7.00! And the KY necklace is one of my favorite.  It came from Chatty Kathys. They have a lot of cute jewelry. Check it out: Chatty Cathys

I am not really a huge fan of crop tops, but I got this one because of my love for lace.  I got it 2 years ago. The long bow necklace came from Walmart for only 5.00.  Walmart has really stepped up their jewelry game! The shoes are from Rue 21 and I paid 7.00 for them.  I got my baby girl a pair too and she loves them. The round necklace is one that I want to wear everyday and have to stop myself. It is from another online boutique called Chatty Cathys. Check them out: Crystal Feather Boutique.

Now, I am not sure if baby doll dresses are still in, but I really don't care. I love this one! I got it about a year or so ago for about 5.00. I am not sure where though, lol! The distressed jeans came from Walmart. They are jordache. The sandals also came from Walmart. You can't tell from the pick put the color on the sandals are little beads! Too cute! The necklace came from eBay for about 5.00.

 I love this color combo.  The necklace came from an online boutique and they have some beautiful pieces. Check them out: Love Alondrah. The white sweater is from Walmart and I paid 3.00 for it ( I think it was so cheap because it was off season). The ruffled tank is from Old Navy. I am not sure how much I paid for it because I got it like 3 years ago. Shoes came from Rue 21 for 3.00.  Watch came from eBay for 2.00!!! Not bad!

My dear friend Tiffany wanted to be featured on this blog! I am so proud of her for mixing patterns. I LOVE PATTERN MIXING! The florals and stripes go so well together. And she is beautiful inside and out!!!

Well folks, it's a wrap! I hope that you enjoyed it! Peace, love and blessings! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

How this Girl Stayed Sober

Hey errybody! First off, I have some exciting news! When I posted last week, I told you that the my babies were not going to get to come.  After I posted, guess who shows up?!

My Loves

So, I did not have to wait to ask them how their first 3 days of school were! I am happy to report that they had a great first week. They like their teachers and all is well. We had a fabulous weekend togetha! We went to Get Air in Nicholasville, KY to celebrate their friend Bailey's birthday.  FYI, Get Air is amazing! The best way that I can describe it is that it is a trampoline park. They even had dodge ball on trampolines! I wanted to jump to, but I decided against it because of my bad knee and I didn't want to embarrass my babes.  The cost was not too bad either.  For Children 5 years and older it is $12.00 for 1 hour and $20.00 for 2 hours.  The cost is less for children under 5 years of age.

DISCLAIMER:

I decided that I wanted to talk about what I do to keep my disease in remission. A few things before I start: what I talk about on here comes from MY OWN personal experience.  I can only speak for myself and what I've been through.  Everyone is different.  However, the program I work has a basic foundation that most addicts in recovery follow.  Also, if you don't believe that what I have is a disease, you have every right to your opinion.

What do I everyday to keep me sober?

#1- I usually start my day with meditation and prayer.  Now, I do get lazy and skip this sometimes and boy, oh boy I can tell a huge difference in my attitude and actions for that day when I don't do this.  My prayer and meditation time is nothing fancy.  I have a few devotionals that I read.  I get most of the from my favorite Android app called "Bible".  It has 1,000's of devotionals to choose from. You can just type in a topic and it will give you many options to chose from.   This app is FREE and I highly recommend it! I also get my devotionals from Hazelden (Click Here for Hazelden Devotionals).  And last but not, least I go to Just for Today website (Click Here for Just for Today Meditations). The cool thing about Just for Today is that it compiles the meditations from many different sites onto theirs, thus saving you valuable time. I have a journal that I keep my thoughts in about my devotionals also. Prayer is next! And listen honey, I used to get tore up when it was time to pray.  I didn't know how I was supposed to pray in order for my prayer to be most "effective".  I always felt inadequate in my prayer life.  I even acquired a prayer book and I would recite the prayers from that book because I was sure that God would hear and answer me more sufficiently if I did. Now, I know better! I was letting religion get in the way of my spiritual walk.  God wants to hear from me! He does not want me to be so caught up on the "right" or "wrong" way that I miss the point of what prayer really is.  It is a conversation with my Father! I over complicated it (like a lot of addicts tend to do, complicate things).  The stronger my relationship gets with God and the more that I study the Word of God, the more confident I am in my prayer life.

#2- Give back! Give back! Give back! I used to be the most selfish individual that I knew, so God has really changed me in that aspect! If you knew me before, you know it is a miracle that I think about someone other than myself now.  I spend a lot of time doing volunteer work! It is imperative to my recovery. I also work in a rehab.  I love working with what I call "my people".  It is very humbling.  I see now on the other side how addiction destroys the family and the addict! Sometimes I get sick to my stomach thinking about the hurt and paind that I caused all of my family and friends. There is nothing more therapeutic than helping another addict. I also belong to several organizations in my community that are not necessarily drug related. No matter what stage of recovery you are in, you have something to offer someone else.  Someone needs to hear your story.

#3-Meetings! I attend weekly AA meetings. I love my AA fellowship! I feel like these meetings are vital to my recovery!

#4- I conduct a daily inventory of myself.  Now, I think whether you are an addict or not, you could benefit from an inventory.  All it is basically is reflection.  At the end of the day, I go back and think about what I have done during that day.  Did I say something that was hurtful to someone? Was I unforgiving? Prideful? Mean? You get the picutre.  If possible, I like to try and go and make things "right" the next day.  I also pray and ask God for forgiveness for acting the way that I did. Then, I just try and do better the next day. Simple enough, right?

#5- Exercise! The same endorphines that were released when I was using drugs are the same ones that are released when I exercise! I teach Zumba and I lift weights 3-5 days per week.  I used to run, but my knee was not having it. It also helps that I have lost weight from exercise too!

#6-  I have fun, laugh and enjoy life! There is so much to be grateful for! Even on a bad day, you can find the positive out of it!

In a nutshell, there it is folks! There is no magic involved! And anyone can surely do the things that I talked about! It is so important to STAY CONSISTENT! If I stop doing the things that I listed above, I will probably fall back into my disease.  And for me it is life or death! Now, I chase after my sobriety like I chased after drugs!


THIS WEEK IN FASHION:

My friends and family have been trying to tell me this for a long time, but now I am willing to admit it: I am a shopaholic! With that being said, I have vowed to cut back on my spending.  Here is a recap of my week.

Honey, I love me some monograms! What is better than a monogram? A HUGE monogram!!! I bought this t-shirt at Walmart for $3.00 and took it over to my favorite store in Mt. Sterling, Sheryl's Hallmark and had the monogram put on for only $8.00! Now, that is a steal! 

I love me a good statement necklace.  I have been seeing statement earrings on Instagram and decided that I wanted to try them! I went to one of my favorite sites and eBay does it again! I got these babies for $5.00 total!!! So, if I don't like them, I ddn't invest too much!

I love to mix patterns! I love this chevron and floral combo! I got those purple jeans off of the clearance rack at Walmart a year ago for $5.00. The scarf was a birthday gift from my beautiful friend Aisha. The shoes are from Rue 21 for only $7.00. The t-shirt is from Walmart for $4.97! I got the necklace online!

I had a coupon to American Eagle and was able to get all of this for only $58.00! Not to shabby! My love of cheetah and leopard print is probably not healthy! 






This was last Sunday's outfit! The dog stole my heart at Rue21, so I had to get! And the bracelet was a gift from JC Pennys. The pants are called joggers and I could live in them! 




My BFF Kelli begged me to put her shoes on! She got these from Rue 21 for $7.00! Great deal!

Well, until we meet again friends! Peace, Love and Blessings!

This week in Sobriety and Fashion...according to ME!

My Week in Recovery
My loves started school this week! Looking at all of "first day of school" pictures from the proud parents on Facebook was bitter sweet.  I love seeing them, but it still breaks my heart because I am not with mine. The way my visitation is set up, I only get to see them every other weekend and it has to be supervised by my parents. After 3 years of sobriety, their father is not willing to budge! We each have attornies and we are going back and forth right now! I understand that he hates me and I have come to terms with it, however I feel like that he should want both parents in the children's lives. Especially since I have some substantial clean time.  Part of me wants to yell and scream at him and tell him to get over himself...or find him and beat him down with a bat (I am just being honest). But because I work a spiritual program, I know that God is fighting this battle for me! I am not confused on that!  I am willing to hold on for as long as I have to! I walk by faith and not by sight!

I used drugs for about 15 years and have only been clean for 3.  That is only 20% of the time that I used. So, really that's not a whole lot.  I don't expect everyone (or anyone for that matter) to trust me now that I am clean.  I don't live my life trying to prove to everyone that I am a changed woman.  If I was trying to earn everyone's trust back, how would I even go about it? How many good deeds would I have to do for each person? How long would I have to do these deeds? There is no way to measure this.  As I walk this thing out, I know that people will be able to see the changes that have occured within me.  So I do what I do now for God, my sobriety and me (and in that order)! All the other added benefits of staying sober and doing the right thing are what I considered "bonuses". If I don't keep God and my sobriety first, I will lose everything that I love!  In recovery, you have to be selfish and rigid! If you are only staying sober for others (even your kids), you more than likely will not remain that way. Now, if I am having a bad day, I think about my kids, family, etc. do give me the extra "umph" I need to stay on the straight and narrow. But, ultimately I have to love MYSELF enough to stay clean and sober. 


I probably won't get to see my babies until next weekend. They will have completed 1 1/2 weeks of school by then. I will save all of my questions for then: How was your first day? Do you like your teacher? What classes do you have? Is everyone nice? Etc...This makes me sad, but right now I am happy that I will have the chance to ask them.  Heck, before I would not have even cared enough to ask them about school or anything else for that matter! So, I will patiently wait! 

My time is coming...God is in the process of restoring EVERYTHING honey! I know this with everything I have in me!!!


Now, on to the next....FASHION!!!

 

I know that people are probably like what does fashion have to do with sobriety?! Well let me share with you my take on this.

First, I have always loved clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, etc. As Juvenile would say, I got it from my Momma.  When I started using drugs, I lost myself before I really even  found me.  I started using during my late teens.  I feel like this is the time that women are learning who they are.  Well, drugs consumed most of my time...not to mention the chaos that came along with it. So, after I came off of the drugs, I realized that I didn't know who the heck I was.

That is what I am doing now, learning all about me: what I like/dislike, what I stand for, etc (you get the picture). But the one thing that I know for sure that I loved before my addiction was fashion.  I don't have much money (and never really have), drugs are very, very expensive! So, I have to be cute on a budget! But, I believe that you can look good in Faded Glory at Walmart, just as easy as you can in Michael Khors. I am not ashamed to say that I am not afraid of a good knock-off (if this is wrong, then I don't want to be right). I believe a girl can never have too many clothes, purses, shoes, jewelry, etc.!

I spend a lot of my time working in recovery and it can be very draining. Shopping serves as a major stress reliever for me. I couldn't decide which I would enjoy writing about the most, so I decided on both! 

There are not very many stores to shop at in my little town of Mt. Sterling, KY.  So, I find myself at Rue 21, JC Penny, Hallmark, and Wal-Mart quite often. Can you BELIEVE that we don't have a Target?! I am also OBSSESSED with shopping at online boutiques through Instagram and let's not forget about eBay! You can find just about anything you are looking for on there! I buy a lot of jewelry through eBay.  The downfall is that most of it comes from China, so it can take longer to receive your items! I am happy to report that I have not had to wait over 3 weeks for any jewelry that I ordered.  The quality for the price is great and I have not received any damaged pieces so far. You can get jewelry on there starting as low as $.99 (say what?!). 

My style is all-over-the-place. One day I may be in a cardigan and button down, the next day I may wear a fringed shirt with ripped up jeans. I love dresses and skirts, but I don't wear them much.  I just got into statement necklaces this year. I am obssessed!   I love mixing fancy necklaces with t-shirts and jeans. I love love love distressed denim!I believe in pattern mixing. I don't like everything to be matchy-matchy. I dress according to my mood most of the time! Here is a recap of my week:

American Eagle was having a sale AND free shipping, so I was compelled to order some more jeans! A sista couldn't resist! I paid 29.99 for each!

T-Shirt: Wal-Mart-$7.00/Jeans: American Eagle-24.00/Earrings: Rue 21-4.00/ Necklace: Online Boutique Christy Alexa Boutique-$8.00 She sells through Instagram and her name is @CHRISTYALEXBOUTIQUE /Watch: eBay-$2.00/ Tassle Bracelet: Style this Life's Etsy Boutique-$12.00.  I love Etsy shops.  It allows anyone to sell their products online! Style this Life sells some amazing jewelry.  Her tassle bracelets are cool for numerous reasons: you can chose from silver or gold ,  bangle bracelets, chains, etc.  And then you pick the color tassles you want.  They are interchangeable.  Visit her etsy shop: https:Style This Life

This pic has nothing to do with fashion, but how cute is Wally?! He attends our weekly staff meetings and gives wonderful input!

These beauties came in this week! I ordered them on eBay! I paid $2.00-$3.00 a piece for them! They are decent quality and were delivered to me in less than 2 weeks from China! The one on the top left is at Wal-Mart for $10.00, so I happy that I ordered my online and paid less than half of that for it!

I made it to the gym this week! I used to lift at least 2 times per week, but with my knee injury it's been difficult.  I teach Zumba 3 times per week and that is hard on my knees as well! The Nikes you see in this picture are EVERYTHING!! I got them at Hibbits.  I paid more than I wanted to $112.00, but they were worth every penny.  They are light weight and have great grips on the bottoms, so they are good for lifting and Zumba! I usually get all of my other workout clothes from Wal-Mart! I love Danskin!

Bought my first pair of joggers from Rue 21, they were not on sale! I paid $16.99 and I love them, comfy and cute is a winning combo! I also wore my Kentucky necklace that I ordered from an online boutique named "Chatty Cathy's" for only 13.00. It's one of my faves! The other neckace says "Pretty Please". I picked it up at Rue 21 for only $2.00! The bracelets and t-shirt are old and I don't remember prices. I ordered my Chuck Taylors last year online.

I got these babies for only $.50 each at Sheryl's Hallmark!

Found this on the clearance at Wal-Mart: $5.00. I love camo!!!

I decided to purchase a vest because it was only $7.00 at Rue 21.  I paired it with a black t-shirt and then added a belt. I've kept my camo shoes from Wal-Mart on repeat all week! I paid only $12.99 for them.

Wal-Mart does it again! I can't get enough t-shirts (especially graphic)!  The "#NOFILTER" shirt is perfect for me! God and I are working on my little filter right now! Both shirts were $5.00 each.

Shoes: Rue 21-$7.00/Long Bow Necklace: Wal-Mart-$5.00

Hope that you enjoyed folks! See you next week!